I have been trying to figure out the influences of this band since I listened to "Far Away", the First of 4 songs from their web site. It reminded me of Blur for 30 seconds, then I was sure they had been listening to Cinderella or some other 80s glam band. This confusion aside, I honestly started to like After the Bath. Although this is not the kind of music I generally listen to, it hooked me a bit. After having listened to it a few times, I can see these guys making it if they move more toward the niceness that I hear in “Juniper” and “Farther Away,” and further from the whiny screaming that happens in “Fear” and “Wrong Place, Wrong Time.” The lead singer just doesn't have the strong voice needed to balance out these harder songs. Hopefully, they can create something new from the different influences that I hear in this small sample. I look forward to hearing more from After the Bath. (Chris Marckel)

The riffs!? The hooks!? Where are the killer, head-bobbing riffs and hooks? Alpha Dog is a trio of women from Milwaukee playing Midwestern bar-rock and they are in DIRE need of additional instrumentation. God, there's a boatload of potential here, but the sound is incredibly thin and incomplete! The production is really dry. A tiny touch of reverb can really save an album, or destroy it when it's not there. My biggest complaint about this disc is the lack of a third dimension. Where are the lead guitars? Where's the Hammond B-3? Where's the percussion? Where are all the glorious three-part harmonies that should be knocking me on my ass? Those harmonies are few and far between. The lead singer is confident and can certainly carry a tune, but gets a bit too throaty for me at times. I've heard this gruff vocal approach before from bands like 4 Non-Blondes, Tina and the B-Sides, Melissa Etheridge, etc. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there's obviously some more vocal talent in the band that's going seriously under-used. This stuff ain't bad, it's just really incomplete. (Archie Rex)

First of all let me say that any band with a mandolin is alright with me. This is good modern folk atop the required acoustic guitar, spiced up with the appearance of the aforementioned mandolin, violin, viola, or cello. The vocals are solid and well suited to these bittersweet slice-of-life ballads, influenced by the Waterboys and the Smiths. Horns come to play in the nostalgic "My Old School," and "Half Me Half You" is a nice guitar and harmonic combo, but my favorite was the lively "Whiskey Priest" with its violin. Overall it's a good EP with some variety, this is a combo I'd like to see live. (Tom “The Godfather” Pluck)

This is the straightforward guitar pop that you can hear blasting (but not too loud) from mini vans driven by middle aged house wives. Adult contemporary pop/rock at its finest. Think of Bryan Adams or Richard Marx. There is a large market that loves this radio ready product. These people also feel that Taco Bell serves pretty good Mexican food. A.J., as he is referred to on the internet, writes plenty of songs about girls and love. But then again, what else is there to write about if you want to be on the radio? The sound is well produced and the musicians are very talented as well. A.J. is doing what he likes and is doing a very good job at it. Who am I to complain? It is a good thing for AJ that the majority of common folk love his style of music, because he will be living the good life while I sit here and piss and moan about pop music. (Hans M.)

"I can Take it" -- decent hard rock with a metal edge; I can't comment on the recording quality -- listened to lower quality versions, but sounds like some good mixes. Nice bass sound. This song has a good head-banging hook -- I think it would have a place on hard rock radio. The ep has a bunch of good rock/metal songs but the artist also has some lighter acoustic material. I like the singer, his voice fits the harder material well, and he seems to have a knack. Rock on. (Norm Deplume)

To be honest, I was a little surprised to find this item submitted to Demorama. I checked the Demorama webpage and verified that yes, it was still full of profanity and extremely harsh sarcasm. Christa must have balls as big as King David to want to see what Demorama’s thinks of her music. If the title didn’t give it away, Christa is on a musical mission from God. She is spreading the “word” through contemporary Christian music (kind of like Stryper who did the same thing through Christian Metal). Let’s move on to what we are here for, the music. It has catchy melodies and excellent production. This music is not too bad. Many times I found myself thinking that Christa sounds a lot like Sarah McLachlan on some of her songs, especially “Bow.” Christa also uses tribal beats that remind me of Paul Simon during his Graceland period and “new age-y” sounds like Sting, after the Police. My one gripe is that every song deals directly with God. This constant theme gets a little tiresome after awhile but I guess this is categorized as Christian music so it should be expected. Even though this is not really my cup of tea, I was pleasantly surprised on the quality of the music and think that Christa is a very talented musician. (Lisa S.)

Please note the lack of an "h" in Cristina Williams name and web addresses. Visiting "christinawilliams.com" instead of "cristinawilliams.com" will get you something far more grisly, tragic and serious than you were bargaining for. That said, on with the review! This is a 12-song CD from a Florida-born New Yorker who, as the Cristina Williams Band, plays pretty much straightforward folk/pop. Her publicity literature sites (not inappropriately) Sheryl Crow and Tracy Chapman as similar artists. I think a better idea of their sound might be found if you paid a visit to the alternate universe where the Gin Blossoms had a girl singer and weren't so bummed out. The material here is often metaphor heavy and reflective, but with a positive outlook. Checking my scorecard, I find, on the whole, I like this record. If it suffers from anything, it's a feeling of distracting lyrical clutter in a number of songs. I get the distinct impression that Williams is a "words first, then write the music" songwriter. Without some editorial ruthlessness this often gets you lyrics that seem shoe-horned into a melody, or lyrics that feel like they should have been trimmed or otherwise buffed to accommodate the music, even though they're perfectly good by themselves. There seems to be a good band backing her, and Williams has a nice voice and something to say that people can identify with, so I think a bit more attention to integrating the words and the music would help her get those ideas across. The disc does much (much) better when it stays focused and simple, and is indicative of quite a bit of promise in this artist. (Conrad Teves)

I was shocked to find that this was not a review submitted in the early 90s, one that had been lost in the Demorama submissions inbox for a decade. Indeed, the earliest song that Critical Gopher has available on their web site is from 1993, when it was pretty much right on time. A grungy three man group that was, at the time on the edge, especially for a band hailing from Iowa. Critical Gopher is possibly still marketable. Their music is reminiscent of many hard-hitting, fast-paced alternarock bands that I hear on my local radio channels...that is I hear them for a few seconds before I find the dial and switch to anything else. Too bad for critical Gopher that there are 100 other bands out there doing what they do better and that this flavor of rock is in the past. Nothing new here. The good things: the music is well produced, the musicians play their instruments well, and though I do not appreciate his voice, the lead singer has the ability to power out the lyrics. The things that bother me about Critical Gopher begin with the horrible name Critical Gopher (what?!) probably an inside joke from when these guys were in highschool. Secondly, they have not evolved much or at all in the last 10 years. If they had held it together in '93 and followed their song "Lust" with their more current song "Framed" and got it before the music execs before Cobain killed himself, they might have had a chance. To be fair, I would say that if you still really like the old grunge sound give this stuff a try. (Chris Marckel)

Hands down the coolest CD packaging yet, perhaps ever, in the history of CDs. Remember when Prince's "Batman" came out in a little circular tin: crap. Dallas Orbiter slices open one of those old 5-inch floppy discs (pre-lined with soft, protective fabric) and slips in their CD. The entire package then goes in the floppy disc's paper sleeve. This is top of the line ingenuity, very cool. Too bad the CD's audio content doesn't go anywhere. Dallas Orbiter conservatively drizzles out very dreary and labored sounds with almost enough envisioned suspense to make you go mad. Lots of ringing, buzzing, whining, whispering and other assorted noises can't take the place of a good guitar lick (notice how this review never uses the word "music"). This nebulous, murky puss of a recording keeps Dallas Orbiter from being labeled rock and roll, alternative or even techno. So what is it then? Is it psychedelic? No, not really. Ambient? Not exactly. Wait a minute, I know what it is: boring shite. (Jacob Caravan)

Chance is an independent rapper with an album available @ www.fightcloud.com. “Rhyme or What” -- not bad – it’s of the Compton/semi-current flavor -- not a lot of instrumental variation but a tasty, nice rap style. “Get at Me” -- infectious -- I'm not a big rap fan but this would get a lot of repeat play, good dance beat also; “fish and grits” -- kind of a little southern rap manifesto -- cool, not real original musically, but I like the rapping. A little experimentation with music and a bit more story telling would help music like this -- it just sounds too much like the typical beat box and deedily keyboards everyone uses. I like the authenticity though, and songs like “Down Here” and “Ridin’ Dirty” are nice, a bit harder edged and minimal. It seems like if I were into this kind of music I’d want to get wild with my sampler and put the drum boxes through some harder paces. Good feel though. (Norm Deplume)

Their submission says they are playing around in North Africa now. Eh. I’m not a big fan of tropical sounding grooves, and synth steel drums and stuff just seems like a bad idea. “The Love Game,” “Somebody Touched Me,” it’s a kind of syntho-tropical party music. The singer is kind of fun, but he is also kind of off-key. “Tell me” is sort of loungy. This stuff would be a fun change of pace at a party, but not for long. I like “No Shakin” -- it is relentless in a demented way that you might like. (Norm Deplume)

Apparently, Desirable Sun plays sold out shows around the Midwest and in their home city of LA. What I think we’ve got here, though, is a lot of people out there who became loyal fans by default. I bet most of them go to the shows because they are just thankful there’s a tolerable band at their bar that doesn’t command a high cover charge. This four-man group is a self-touted jam band. Unfortunately, once the guys decide on a hook for a song, they ride it into the ground without exploring it too much. When I first listened to their song “T.c.v.” on their 2001 production, Alive Experience, I enjoyed the repetitious and hypnotic saxophone line and the way the guitars enthusiastically picked up the same rhythm. But after doing the same kind of hand-off a couple times, I just wanted them to stop – and that was on a studio recording. I’d hate to hear them jam on that one for 15 minutes. On a wider scope, they share many similarities with the band Live. Sun’s lead singer Brett Diggler Dukes even uses the same pained undergrowl in his voice as Ed Kowalczyk. Desirable Sun’s earlier works had more range musically and the lyrics explored broader subject material than their usual “I am depressed. You make me depressed. Why am I depressed?” shtick. On their news page, however, I found a new song of theirs, “Unknown.” Although the words are still about depression, the guitar-work is almost tender rather than jamming. Perhaps that means the men haven’t settled on being just a “tolerable” band and will continue to diversify. We’ll see. (Vanessa Moore)

Okay, now take that cool instrument many people can recognize, and few can identify or even spell. Then use it to make nine worldbeat songs that all seem to meld into each other without being repetitive or boring. Then you have this compilation, which stands up to my harsh test of what a compilation should be -- if I can listen to it in the dark lying on the couch in a rainstorm and not fall asleep, it is good. This CD passes the test with flying colors. I am not even a fan of worldbeat. I own some Psychic TV and a Shamen album, and that's the closest I get to trance, trip-hop and electronica, but I enjoyed this comp immensely. The thrumming susurrus of the didgeridoo permeates each track, which roam from relaxing to hypnotic to energetic; a pounding backbeat on "Factory Farm" by Didjworks, fingerpopping and tin cup rhythms on Hayan's "Kemetic Song," to a more techno sound on Global's "Didge-Na-Gig." I could mention every song, because they're all enjoyable, but you can go to www.music-mosaic.com and check it out yourself. This is one of those albums that makes reviewing worthwhile. So to conclude, NO, Deneen, you're not getting this CD back, dammit. Not for all the Count Chocula in the WORLD. (Tom “The Godfather” Pluck)

After listening to this disc I wanted to don my quilted flannel shirt, wool hat, dungarees, work boots, a trusty axe and go a-wanderin' through the Great North Woods chopping down mighty oaks and riding logs down the Red River. Ed Alkalay plays American folk music that takes you into the heart of the woods with songs played on a beat up guitar and/or banjo. Ed is a genuine modern-day mountain troubadour with stories o' plenty to tell. Set a spell while he strums out a sorrowful ballad of a lost love, or a toe-tapper about a two-faced woman (they're both cute) in love with a two-timin' man. I feel like I'm not doing Ed's music justice by listening to it on CD in my city apartment. I should be sitting 'round a campfire or in a rustic cabin with a bunch of surly lumberjacks and riverboatmen listening to him sing it to us in person. While this is never something you'd hear on commercial radio, it's great in its own unique way. (Archie Rex)

I have never heard of this band, and I'm sure most of the country never has either, yet these guys have T-shirts, necklaces, and Frisbees emblazoned with their band name for sale on their website. A fucking Frisbee. I've been a U2 fan since way back when they were the opening act for Flock of Seagulls, and I can't recall a U2 Frisbee for sale. Ever. Marketing before music? Hard to say. Ignoring the entirely forgettable lyrics, Fleau has a pretty cool sound. Rod Shuler's arrangements are solid -- he cites one of his influences as Portishead, and you can certainly hear it (the music falls under the category of Trip Hop at mp3). The vocalist, a Marisol Laboy, is very skilled, lending a certain delicacy to the music. I hate to use the word "potential" because it sounds patronizing, but it does apply here. They're good, and quite possibly on to something, but right now their songs just float away, never to be thought of again. (Mike Mitchelson)

According to their overly bulky press kit, San Francisco all-star "super group" Griddle has members hailing from a host of popular bands I never heard of. But thanks for sharing. The press kit is full of cliché labels like "post-punk-power-prog-pop" and lets me know they have "a passion for whiskey and sausage." Who doesn't? Their sense of humor is a bit out of place compared to the plotting sixties style keyboard Brit-pop on their self-produced CD "Over Easy," which by the way, is the first of 3 recordings in a series of what I expect to be unanticipated, joyless and increasingly pretentious releases mirroring an era I hope will never make a comeback. If life were an Old Navy add, Griddle would be the greatest band of all time. But lets all thank the Maker that It’s not. Griddle is bubble gum, Joanie Loves Chachi-esque jukebox music that provides the listener with a cultural experience completely devoid of any real culture. It's like Elvis Costello meets The Byrds (and I mean that in the worst possible way), with utterly stolen vocal melodies and chord progressions. I hope these guys don't operate under the false pretence that they are honest musicians. I get the feeling that the weird band member names (Xifer is one) and the press kit's fake interview where they repeat over and over how they play in France are shallow attempts to make up for the lack of real emotion and ideas on "Over Easy." They also mention that many of their band members are currently in other bands. I don't know about you, but this burns me up. What ever happened to band loyalty? Maybe if Xifer and the other all-star nerds on this CD weren't spreading themselves so thin with side projects, they could muster an original idea. Or better yet, stick to the side projects and put Griddle on the back burner. (Jacob Caravan)

Very, very cool. Makes me wish I still lived in Chicago so I could see these guys live. The lead singer has a bit of a Frank Black quality to his voice, and the music also brings to mind Black's Pixies combined with the raw power of Soundgarden. I thought I heard a little bit of The Cult blended in there on one song, too. Now, I'm not making a lateral comparison to those bands (and they are certainly not trying to mimic them) but Janus could quite possibly kick some serious buttock if anyone important listens to them. I really liked what I heard. I am now selfishly requesting that they send me their last EP, or latest demo. Or both. (Mike Mitchelson)

This New Age piano music by John Hammett is entitled “Flow” and comes bedecked with photos of Japanese-style fountains containing the barefoot “composer” wearing no pants. It is not, however, a composition; it is “Improvisation”—a word printed in tiny letters that we find by accident. Also of interest here is that this music does not “flow.” When Hammet accidentally plays something that seems about to form itself into anything approaching a melody, he immediately jerks away and continues to skip down the pathway of absent-mindedness once more. Without sensitivity and with only an intermittent sense of purpose, Hammett stumbles along from idea to idea, from mood to mood, until you refuse to put up with anymore. If it doesn’t cause you to kill yourself first, you might be able to use it as background music when you go to his house to kill him. (Serena Vale)

Since Randy Newman already made millions with shallow songs about mundane topics (such as being friends) that need no alteration to become advertising jingles, it’s hard to see what room there is for Joshua Rich. This easy listening music fits Newman's style exactly: cheesy, bouncy piano accompanying simplistic vocal melodies, but lacks the distinguishing feature of Newman’s goofy voice. With each and every stanza resolving in a predictable cadence, sort of like “shave and a hair cut, two bits,” and song lyrics with so little to say that reading the titles alone can give you a perfect idea of what you’ll hear, Joshua Rich keeps me guessing as to what he means in his press kit when he expresses a desire to “influence pop music the way the Beatles did.” Some strengths of this CD include good piano ability and kid-friendly themes, and a quality recording, obviously intended to be ready for mass marketing. I cannot say that Rich seems headed for success with his goals, except the one about influencing education reform with his music. I can see this happening when parents realize what a need there is to stretch their kids with exposure to many different styles of music to avoid such a rehashed contribution to culture as this. (Serena Vale)

After the other crap I had to listen to this month, Kyoti will slide by with a glowing review due to the immense relief I feel at not being tortured by sad, pathetic-wuss piano boys. A wuss Kyoti is not; perhaps too much self-confidence is his flaw, but he does earn some of it for a very engaging and invigorating sound on a CD that does rock. He has a new take on big band—guitars instead of horns—but perhaps he has been misinformed about what hip-hop is, for there certainly is not much of a “hip-hop groove” to be found…me suspects he’s trying to appeal to the youngsters with that one. I’d suggest calling it swing-rock, or swock, or maybe shwing. The amusing lyrics and wicked competence of the musicianship definitely makes this worth a listen -- the sound is different enough to prick up your ears. The vocals are adequate, as one would expect a gigging bassist who starts his own band to sound. And actually the coolest part of the music is the demented walking bass lines, for the guitar orchestra does sound a little hair-heavy at times. I would gauge from the reviews he contains in his enormous press folder that his live show is quite entertaining despite Kyoti’s stage-spitting disdain for our war against terrorism. Catch him in New York after a visit to the former location of the Twin Towers. (Serena Vale)

Sir Slob is well produced and consistent. Sounds like Ben Folds meets Luna...harmless, mid-tempo, easy-on-the-ears, pop. Few of these songs ever really stood out to me, but I never felt the urge to skip any tracks on this disc. Nice instrumentation...guitars swap with piano for the lead on a few tunes. Some appropriately placed strings make "King of Close Enough" my favorite track. Actually, the few songs where the string section is featured are really cool. I wish Larry used more of it. Some of the lyrics are a bit trite, but not enough to send me off on a tirade. While listenable, these tunes all start to sound an awful lot alike by track 8 and I begin to lose interest. Again, nothing on this album was bad, but I didn't think it was worthy of the 8 pages of rave reviews and press that accompanied it. (Archie Rex)

Dull. Boring. Uninteresting. Lou Dog is one of those singers who prefer to speak the lyrics rather than sing them. Not rap, mind you; he orates a la Lou Reed, but not as well. Musically, there's one rock riff for each song, and Louie plays it for five minutes with hardly a change. Snore. The one good thing I can say about this is that the package and production are both really pro. But because the musical content is so tepid, I'm inclined to end this review right here. (Archie Rex)

Well-recorded acoustic guitar rock is the Mark Gallo thing. But the feel is heavy metal, I mean the 80's ballad kind of heavy metal, where Lita Ford and Ozzy Osborne might trade lyrical phrases in a sappy attempt to make the listener feel lonely or sorry or guilty or whatever. Mark Gallo & The Witness is a band for whose day has come and gone: some 15 years ago. And the excited guitar solos and reverberating vocals are too dark and gloomy for the current millennium where we don't need any help taking life seriously. Cheer up Mark, it can't be that bad. (Jacob Caravan)

This guy is giving away awesome beats like they are going out of style. The beats on “Loop Spew” and “Battle” are so… umm… how do I put it, so “fuckin’ dope” that I don’t feel embarrassed using that phrase. The website uses the following terms to describe the music: Ethereal Rock, Progressive Psychedelica, Acid Rock, Space Music, Jam Band, and Fusion. To put it simpler, he kind of reminds me of the Chemical Brothers but with more of a “human feel.” The addition of the heavy guitar to the beats on “Invite” is fantastic and creates this “human” touch I speak of. There is also some really nice guitar work featured on “Your Angel.” This genre of music can get on my nerves for being too repetitious but Mountain Mirrors does a decent job of mixing it up to keep it interesting. (L. Simpson)

I want to like this CD. It shouldn't be that difficult to, really -- it's filled with inoffensive, often lovely guitar-pop that hits all the familiar bases from the Byrds to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers to R.E.M. to any number of bouncy, jaunty alt-pop bands that dotted the musical landscape in the early-mid '90s. It's well-produced, radio-ready and musically sharp. But ah, we have a problem, and that problem is vocals. Post Office has a slight deficiency in that department, unfortunately, even though according to the press kit EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE BAND has a go at it (yes, even the drummer). This makes it difficult for me to discern whose fault it is that the bouncy head-nodder "Deliver My Letter" and the glimmering ballad "Awake Again" are tainted by a reedy, nerdy voice that makes Nick Lowe sound like Lemmy, and who's responsible for the more enjoyable semi-deadpan subtlety of "Going To Indiana" and "Fondly." Whether they're sung well or cheesily, the lyrics are standard hey-love-is-crazy stuff (with the notable exception of "Susan Faludi," a tongue-in-cheek pseudo-tribute to various feminist icons), so the only thing that really stands out is the music -- and while it's good-enough classic pop-style rock, it tends to get a little repetitive at times. I will say this: according to the press kit, Ben Hamper -- author of the awesome book "Rivethead" and the guy in Roger & Me who had a nervous breakdown and tried singing to the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice" -- gave this demo a pretty positive write-up ("Great twee in the most positive sense of the term"). He's cooler than me, so you might wanna go with what he says. (Nate Patrin)

Wow, another one-man project. There seem to be a lot of those coming my way these days. The "one man" in question here is Justin Hess, who produces a pretty timid brand of bass and drum trip-hop. Were I in some darkened club with this thudding through the speakers, the dance floor would seem to be whispering "ssh -- take a break, it's an intermission." Too devoid of tension and too monotonous to be interesting. Or sexy. (Conrad Teves)

Ha ha, Techno JOE. Ha ha. That was a funny joke. You aren’t techno. You’re a cross between a fifties’ style country musician and a struggling children’s entertainer. With only two songs on your website, however, I didn’t have a lot to go on. You say you’re mainly a lyricist and it shows. I want to believe poor recording quality is the reason your voice is so out of tune on “Your Love is True,” but I don’t think that is the case. Also, the guitar and the drum sequence made me think of karaoke back-up music. As for “Wake In the Mornin’ Brew,” you do prove to be a clever writer – what with mixing love, coffee, and life now and a hundred years ago – but the chorus about the first cup, second cup, third cup and another cup was a bit too much to swallow. (Vanessa Moore)

This CD has an inane little gimmick: it is not merely a CD, but a "chain tape" (only it's not a tape, but you get the picture). The poor hapless schmuck who gets burdened with this CD (me) is urged to send seven copies to people -- otherwise they will be burdened with BAD LUCK. Oh no! Also enclosed is a list of "THIRTEEN THINGS THAT WILL ENHANCE YOUR LISTENING ENJOYMENT", but in lieu of reprinting it I will just make up my own list -- THIRTEEN THINGS THAT RUINED MY LISTENING ENJOYMENT: 1) The band is on a label called "Flaming Flatulence." You do not want to see their logo. Trust me. 2) The CD starts out with the band covering the theme from the cartoon Jem, only replacing "Jem" with "Goatease." They also sound more effeminate than Jem and the Holograms. 3) Everything about this CD seems calculated to annoy the bejeezus out of the listener. This is probably why most of the songs are less than two minutes, because they'd just get skipped past after a minute or two anyways. 4) When they ditch the stupid grating Casio gimmick and actually start sounding like they might be performing a decent straightforward song (i.e. "And To The Shoes"), the singer pipes in with a horrific combination of crap vocals and also-crap lyrics. (ibid: "We're all prisoners in this house of Cheddar", sung like Mark Mallman imitating Ethel Merman... the hell?) 5) Electronically altered chipmunk voices. GOD NO. 6) Poorly-played banjo. VERY poorly-played banjo. AND TUNE THE DAMN THING YOU MORONS. 7) Incompetent sample-based noise experiments. Think Negativland trapped in a Port-o-san. 8) A horribly forced "OH WE ARE SO WACKY AND NON-SEQUITORIAL AND ZAPPA-ESQUE" song structure and lyrical bent. Locusts with Jane Fonda faces burrowing into your kneecaps? BAD SHROOMS MAN. 9) "Cute" instruments. The aforementioned banjo, a toy whistle... there's probably a kazoo in there, too, though I wasn't brave enough to listen to the whole demo to find out. 10) Smirky inclusion of song snippets by AC/DC and Van Halen as an ostensible parody of "meathead rock" or whatever these stupid fucking dorks call it -- too bad hearing bits of "Running With the Devil" is the only pleasure I got from this CD. 11) Masturbatory percussion. I don't mean Keith Moon going batshit with drum rolls and the like; I mean a three year-old banging on pots and pans randomly with a tire iron and calling it "art." Please, stop it. 12) "Noise" tracks. "Dude, let's record the sound of a Garden Weasel running across a rusty sheet of aluminum!" Bastards. 13) The single worst cover of a James Brown song EVER, combining pretty much every single element I've already discussed. The Godfather of Soul says "Goatease, eat my shit! Good god!" This CD is thirty tracks long. It has a running time of 79 minutes, 55 seconds. It is prominently labeled "DO NOT ACCEPT MONEY FOR THIS ALBUM. IT CONTAINS UNCLEARED SAMPLE MATERIAL AND IS ILLEGAL TO SELL", which means I probably won't get anything for it at Cheapo. It actually caused physical pain to my eardrums. If I actually followed the instructions on the back of this CD and sent it to seven different people I would make seven different enemies faster than you can say "sonic venereal disease," and that's not my idea of good luck by a long shot. In short: NOT ONLY IS THIS IS THE SINGLE WORST DEMO I HAVE EVER REVIEWED IN MY FOUR-YEAR TENURE WITH DEMORAMA, THIS IS THE WORST ALBUM I HAVE HEARD IN MY LIFE AND I HATE GOATEASE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER DAMN IT. Worst of the motherfucking worst and don't you forget it. (Nate Patrin)

When I listen to singers like Tim Corely, I feel the same way I did when I experienced (not watched) the movie the Titanic. It doesn’t matter what I think about the show or the music itself — I will cry. With Titanic, I was sitting in a bar with my back toward the wide-screen television. The movie was nearly through by the time I arrived and I really had no intention of watching at all. But, as soon as I caught a few strains of poignant music, I was crying into my Amaretto Sour without even turning around. I hate that, but I admit that the movie did exactly what it was supposed to. Tim Corely has the same effect. He has a sweet, clear voice, plays acoustic guitar and sings about wanting love. Put all three together, and you have a sound that tugs at the heartstrings. With lyrics that I hear as “I feel like I am hiding from all that I hold (hope)/ am I becoming what I don’t want to know” in “Breathe Again,” it is not difficult to see how I could become weepy. The arrangement of this song is nicely done. There are smooth violins in the background, crash cymbals and a heartbeat-like drum cadence lifting Corely’s voice. Also, this song feels like it ends with authority. The other three tracks closed with one of those chords that is just different enough from the rest of the song to feel like a punctuation mark. Most people might not even notice that through all the teary-eyed empathy they are feeling for Corely. (Vanessa Moore)

The name of the band gives me a snuggly feeling like when I sleep in with my spouse on weekends, rising only for a breakfast dripping with butter, syrup and runny egg yoke. And the packaging is just as cute: a cardboard sleeve where the CDR slides out like an old LP, I love that. Ooh, and they even included a nice sticker...I put it on my guitar case. Just in case you other bands out there are wondering if fun gifts like stickers help you get a good review, the answer is yes. Wow, Vaguely Starshaped makes very pleasant music. "Nothing New to Prove" contains spaced out sounds that come from what I don't know; refreshing to hear something I can't put my finger on. Aaron Sherman's voice is that of a beautiful she-male siren beckoning me to a sailor's demise. Creative musicianship, nicely placed vocals, and simple yet perfect songwriting makes this Boston trio a joy to listen to. Vaguely Starshaped is good, ambient space-pop that deserves whatever honors it can muster from the rock and roll community. I want to give them a big hug. (Jacob Caravan)

It's what Voce calls "classical/pop crossover music." It sounds interesting, and Ms. de Roo has a very good singing voice. Mind you, I'm judging the quality only from the 45 seconds or so I was allowed to hear of each song. What was really cool about the website was, after I downloaded the little snippets, I couldn't play them again. This occurred on every song, leading me to believe that it was done on purpose. Is there tight security surrounding this musical fusion? The Russians giving you guys trouble? They're sneaky capitalists now, so watch out! I really can't tell you how much I like to have my time wasted. I mean I really, really do. I think I can speak for everyone here at Demorama that there's nothing like a band ASKING us to review their music, and then we pick our way through an unnecessarily cluttered site to find almost nothing to review. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. If those fragments of songs didn't sound as good as they do, I would say that Voce is another band existing only as an excuse to have a nifty website. (Mike Mitchelson)